Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists: Essays on The Invisible War Zone and Exercises for Recovery

As the adult child of a narcissistic father and a mental health therapist, I can say unequivocally this is the most comprehensive, helpful, complete guide to understanding my own upbringing and my healing, and how to work with those who share in this plight. Arabi writes in clear, easy to understand language, and covers aspects of being in relationships with those who are narcissistic, that I have not found in other books. Her guidance on healing and exercises to begin practicing are so helpful and right on the money. I deeply resonate with the material, and I highly recommend it!

I have read a number of books on NPD. While each has its merits, Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists is exceptional. It is probably the most comprehensive book I have read on the subject, and covers narcissist traits, symptoms experienced by Adult Children of Narcissists like myself, and most importantly, exercises for self-growth, unraveling the deep emotional wounds and healing. If you have ever felt alone in your struggle, reading this will change that. There is an entire chapter dedicated to survey responses from those who have experienced narcissist abuse. Can’t recommend this book enough. Thank you to Ms. Arabi for sharing your brilliant work with those of us who have a great need for this material.

I cannot adequately express the extent to which this book continues to positively impact my life. From the first paragraph in the Introduction, I felt as if the author were narrating my life. Although I am an easily distracted reader, I have been able to focus on the content without difficulty because of the way it's organized, the level of detail and explanation, and examples of what one might experience as an adult. This book is giving me: 1. The benefit of naming and organizing all of the "stuff" I have been carrying since childhood 2. Validation in knowing that I'm not defective, my parent with NPD was 3. Reassurance in that I am not the only one with these awful childhood experiences 4. The opportunity for healing 5. Hope I am definitely pro-therapy/counseling, but this book has done something critical for me that I didn't get or wasn't able to accept through counseling. I now have the perspective I need to shed the cloak of pain, shame, and distorted self-image. I recognize this as a lot of credit for one book. However, the content and presentation are exactly what I needed, and I am so grateful.

I have read many books on narcissism and how to heal and grow from being raised in it. Unlike this book, most others tend to be solely opinion based and don't understand nearly the depth of the issue. This book provides not only names to issues, but also steps to overcome those issues. I also appreciate that it is more research based rather than tapping into a difficult topic with no background understanding. I would highly recommend this to anyone who has struggled, or struggles, with this.

I spent 10 years trying to fix my problems on my own, because I thought that there was something wrong with me as a person, that I was defective. I never understood how deep the problem really was until I read this book. This book motivated me so much, I was able to both accept responsibility for what was mine and to stop obsessing over and trying to fix what was never mine to deal with in the first place. It helped me to realise that I didn't have to fix it alone, and that I wasn't weak for needing help to fix things. This book taught me to set boundaries, and doing so allowed me enough space that I was able to get into therapy with an empathetic, trauma specialised professional. I was able to avoid the dangerous and negative therapists that are out there, the types of invalidating people I have run into in the past. Those negative experiences kept me from trying to find someone better, but this book helped me to try again. Therapy is what gave me the space to make the greatest progress, and without this book I never would have made it there. I not only read this book, I gave it to a sibling, and they passed it on to another friend. I also bought another copy for a different relative. I definitely, whole heartedly recommend this book, especially if you are from a similar cultural background as the author.

I borrowed this book from a friend then paid the $6 (Kindle) to own. It is well organized, thoughtful and useful. It's empowering to have all the terms of abuse sorted out. The author injects her experience where appropriate. I am a man and this is written by a woman. There is even a chapter on Daddy Issues. That doesn't stop me from finding this book useful in healing. Not too short, not too long. A well balanced and highly healing read. I don't like how the chapters aren't numbered. She refers to a block of text instead of chapter 7. It causes me to flip through to the table of contents then find that sentence, page number, etc. That's about my only complaint though.

Many many techniques in this wonderful workbook, written with humanity and knowledge. Easy to read. Insightful. Hope. The Kindle matchbook program can't seem to work, so in order to open the links you'll need to get the kindle edition.

Se você se sente estranho, desvalorizado, inferior, vive se comparando com outras pessoas, sempre se envolve com pessoas tóxicas, está infeliz no trabalho, acredita que tem algo errado com a sua vida então leia esse livro o quanto antes. A descoberta de que você foi criado por pai ou mãe com essa terrivel patologia chamada Narcisismo (e suas diversas ramificações) é chocante e pesada mas fundamental para você se libertar de uma vida de repetições e auto sabotagem a nível subconsciente. A autora é direta ao ponto e detalha as características sórdidas e atitudes covardes da personalidade de pais narcisistas em relação a seus filhos. E vai além: traz um pouco das consequências e das prováveis patologias que você acaba desenvolvendo. Esse abuso sofrido na infância te leva a se relacionar com pessoas perigosas na vida adulta, trazendo ciclos de repetições intermináveis, a conclusão de que a vida não vale a pena, o esgotamento físico e mental, provocando um possível colapso. Não encontrei uma versão traduzida desse livro. No entanto, ler esse tipo de assunto em inglês é a melhor opção pois, dependendo da tradução, a leitura fica prejudicada. Livros assim deveriam ser divulgados à exaustão. Doenças mentais não tratadas podem, definitivamente, acabar com a qualidade de vida e destruir gerações da mesma família.

Wow! This book is so helpful. It accurately describes what is actually going on when you are in a relationship with a narcissist. The abusive behaviour that is so covert and insidious that you actually believe the whole time that you are the problem... until the truth starts to emerge. You realise that you are under a spell and that all of the time it was them. This book exposes it all; the tactics and strategies of the narcissist are no longer invisible. Now all can see exactly what is happening: lack of empathy, stonewalling (silent treatment), emotional neglect, envy, sabotage, verbal abuse... it is all there. Thank you Shahida Arabi! Your message is truthful, clear and empowering!!!

Fantastic book. I love all her writings. So insightful and healing. I highly recommend.

This book is powerful and I vividly recommend it to all the people out there who had the misfortune to encounter a narcissist.