Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs

A Hilarious compilation of the feedback that Dave received from his fans, regarding confusing, unintelligible, idiotic lyrics in popular songs . A Laugh Out Loud Good Read!!! So That My Generation Won’t Be Fooled Again!

I can’t get through one page of it without laughing! I hated the same sappiness and dumb filler lyrics. In my generation’s songwriters’ defense, they were probably high.

I have to admit I'm a die hard Dave Barry fan. He could probably rewrite my phone book and manage to make it funny. This book is no exception. In the beginning of the book he warns you to be prepared to have songs running over and over in your head. He wasn't kidding. I had "Dreams Of An Everyday Housewife" running through my brain for 3 days after reading this book. I hate that song. I'm also guilty of punching my car radio buttons furiously whenever "You Light Up My Life" comes on. I agreed with all the votes for worst songs. "You're Having My Baby" anyone? I loved how he continuously reassured people that he now thought Neil Diamond was a god and in fact had erected a tasteful shrine to him in his living room. Neil Diamond fans are loyal and get upset if you question his taste in lyrics. I have also always wondered why Neil Diamond was surprised when no one heard a word not even his chair. I have to agree that "no one heard a word so I ate a pear" was a much better line. I have not heard of all the songs that he mentions. For example I had to look up the song about Timothy. Evidently Timothy was eaten by his friends when they were trapped in a mine. I also agree that the Isley Brothers version of Twist and Shout is the best version and toll booth operators should be required to dance with you when this song is playing on your radio. This book is fairly short and can be read in an afternoon if you have zero sense of humor. Otherwise it will take at least two days to finish it because there are parts that will make you stop reading because you are laughing so hard you have tears in your eyes. This would be a great gift for any musicians you may know or just anyone that likes or needs a good laugh. I've reread parts of this book at least 5 or 6 times and it never gets old. I wish he would follow this up with a sequel since a lot of these songs are old and there are so many more NEW songs that people now hate. Great job, Dave. I would like to end by saying, "Yummy yummy yummy I've got Tim In My Tummy" and he's wearing an "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini". Buy this book or I will list more bad song lyrics and you'll really be sorry!

Fun to read a book about the songs of mostly my teen years. But it’s more novella length than book length.

Until now, I have always thought that "I nearly died laughing" was an overly dramatic turn of phrase. Guess again. I made the mistake of..., all alone after midnight... reading this book. All was quite amusing with the sought after chuckles and self-satisfaction of being in on the cultural references of 60's 70's and 80's music, until... I came to the chapter about not understanding words to songs. He was right, there was a song that I had never understood the opening lines to. Like Barry, I had also played it over and over and still could not understand it. Barry explained what it sounded like to him. Then suddenly I started to make this wheezing sound and my face was paralyzed in this weird contortion and I could hardly breathe. I could have died! Does Dave Barry think this is funny?!!! Two nights later, I thought I had recovered sufficiently to read this section aloud to a friend. My friend was washing dishes after our turkey dinner. You might think I am mean, but I was genuinely curious to see if I was an isolated case. It took me a few tries, because I was, again, unable to speak or breathe. However, I persevered. I completed my reading and was curious that she was silent and not laughing. I looked up to see her face, but it was hidden. She was bent over, holding onto the kitchen counter unable to stand. Suddenly, this professional woman stated that she had peed her pants! Now she suddenly needed ... Depends?! You should know that we are both college educated and exercise regularly (well, she does). So this should not have been a problem. But there we were. Helpless. Hanging on to the counters. Legs gone. Like Gary Larsson's boneless chicken ranch chickens. Gasping. Unable to stand or make coherent noises, uncontrollable peeing, facial contortion, and being generally un-FB selfie worthy. This is not what I call laughing. This is beyond safety laughing. So. This book should come with a warning label: DO NOT READ ALONE. Neither should you read this in situations where you want to look remotely attractive. If you must read it, work up to it by reading much less funny stuff, like memoirs by Monty Python members.

Hilarious. I have always made a hobby of picking on senseless, tasteless and/ or unintelligible song lyrics...since I was a little kid. So this book was right up my alley. I remember lots of the songs that Dave Barry covers...like the Hispanic song he quotes as "One Ton Tomato"...when I was in New Zealand 10 years ago, my workmates and I debated these lyrics, which we were cursed with having stuck in our heads due to a Chilean group who performed outside our building at lunchtime. Though the Scarface fans among us opted for "One ton o'Yayo" and came in a close second, our verdict was "One Ton of Mayo" in the end - a running lunchtime joke: "what are you having today, Tom?" "Oh, toasted cheese sandwich I think...with one ton of Mayo!" He also forgot a few notorious ones. Most notably, Alphaville's Victory of Love, for lazy rhyming when they couldn't find any suitable words" "she's an investigator; she's like an elevator" (or is it "alligator"???). Roxette's She's Got The Look, for making no sense whatsoever ("...she's a juvenile scam, loving like a wild dog, she's got the look"), and Tinie Tempah for Miami to Ibiza, the song with something to offend absolutely everyone: "I've got a black BM, she's got a white TT, she wanna see what's hiding in my CK briefs, so I say wear suspenders and some PVC, so I can film it all up on my JPC..." You get the picture...thinly veiled though the crass lyrics might be by the artist's use of confusing acronyms. Except for the final verse, which is clear as day: "If you (ethnic slur) are balling, then man, I must be FIFA...&#34. And, or course, anything by Nickelback, whose misogynistic lyrics were kindly dubbed "unsubtle" in a New Yorker op-ed: "I love the way you dance with everybody, and tease them all by sucking on your thumb; it's so much cooler when you never pull it out, you sure look so much cuter with something in your mouth." These ditties are also, unfortunately, ear worms that make the listener feel like it's Groundhog Day at your old junior high school...or at a never-ending Presidential address (no names)...take your pick. Yes, whether a song is bad or good is a matter of opinion. But Mr. Barry's detailed essay on this subject is spot-on. Awesome...six stars. Except now, I can't get the refrain "one ton of mayo" out of my brain!

Funny stuff, and contrary to the author’s warning I won’t be having these songs stuck in my head. That does happen sometimes, but randomly for no apparent reason. It was fun to remember so many songs, and to look up some I was not sure of. I have a parrot who likes to be sung to. Three of the songs on this author’s bad list are songs I have sung to him regularly! Since this list is highly subjective, I am not concerned that some songs I like are on the list as well as some I agree are horrible. I enjoyed reading this book. There were plenty of laugh out loud moments. The many pages of permissions the author had to request looked very time consuming, more so than writing the book. Even though this book is dated, all that is said still holds true today. So, thanks for the entertainment Dave Barry!

I’ve played these songs on the radio for 60 years and find Dave’s assessment of these songs totally out of line. Upsetting. Terrorizing. Which is what these songs could be if we take them seriously. Music is way too much fun and Dave has hit this fact out of the park.

This book is very funny! Sadly, I do not think it is long enough as it made me laugh aloud and I didn't want it to end where it did! It is a book to leave lying around for people to dip in and out of. Very good service and price.

This was a hilarious romp of a read that kept me smiling throughout. Barry is a humorist with the New York Times and wrote this book after responses he received from his readers, voting worst songs. Barry dissects many lyrics from many songs in this hilarious read through – what were some people thinking? If we are of a ‘certain’ age, we can all relate to some of the nonsensical songs created back when – some one-hit wonders and, be warned, many a song that may stick in your head and play on long after you don’t want them in your head anymore. I literally laughed at some of the comments – one person said this book was better than Prozac for a lift. I can’t say; I’ve ever taken Prozac, but I can definitely say that if you’re looking for some fun distraction in this book about songs, and you’re familiar with songs of the 70s, I highly recommend.

A number of songs that I can't listen to again without thinking of this book and laughing out loud! A quick, enjoyable and memorable read!

Love Dave Barry - think that this book was part of a longer book that he wrote and I had read previously but none the less - worth another read - pretty hilarious

One of the funniest books I’ve ever read. Bought this copy as a present for a friend in hospital to cheer them up. Not sure it would be so funny for anyone who didn’t grow up listening to music in the 70s