Strengths Based Marriage: Build a Stronger Relationship by Understanding Each Other's Gifts

Help to identify strengths and then meet I e another on the journey

As a certified StrengthsFinder coach I loved this book!!! It contains some wonderful information that can truly help couples understand themselves and each other better. I'm sharing copies with couples I've coached! True, it doesn't include codes for taking the StrengthsFinder assessment, but don't let that stop you from purchasing this. If you consider what you'd pay for a weekend marriage retreat this book plus the purchase of two codes is a small investment compared to what you get for it. I still highly encourage people to engage with a certified StrengthsFinder coach as nothing can ever take the place of getting that input. However, as a coach I learned much reading this book and acquired new tools for helping the couples I coach. I haven't seen the video series yet - but there is a link in the back that says it's supposed to provide access to this additional content. I've read many StrengthsFinder related books and hands down this is one of my new favorites!

Strengths Based Marriage is a book that suggests utilizing the Clifton Strengths Finders (CSF) assessment in order to enhance a Marriage. Without going into terribly great detail, the CSF in an assessment that people rate their top 5 strengths with a more thorough version rating the top 34 strengths. It's normally used in corporate settings in order to help leaders better manage the effectiveness of their team. The approach in this book is that, if understanding our strengths can make us more effective at work, then how much more effective can we be in our marriage?!? As a married couple and lay counselors we find this a nifty and useful resource for pre-marriage and marriages that have a strong foundation of commitment. We liked the emphasis on self awareness and "other awareness" (awareness of our significant other) because this is vital to all relationships. We give the book kudos in that category which is why we can recommend this to younger couples. What lacked, however, is accountability. The premise of Strength Finders, is to focus on strengths which is definitely affirming but far too positive. It creates a mentality that nothing is wrong, no one is wrong, no one has weaknesses and so the only issue is misunderstanding and miscommunication. This leaves no room to grow, because we're not really being asked to grow from a weaker state, we're only being asked to acknowledge our strengths. While the book moderately tackled this when speaking about "undeveloped strengths," it still left much to be desired from a "depth" perspective. With that in mind, the book can't appropriately address the harder issues that come up in marriage regarding lack of character (i.e. infidelity, neglect, narcissism, abandonment, etc.) This book is a healthy approach to a team player mentality and organizing the team to be at its best. However, when addressing organizational development, whether in business or marriage, It is imperative to measure strengths as well as opportunities for "growth" in order to develop a truly effective individual. When it comes to matters of character or areas of hurt and pain that come in a marriage, this book has no answers outside of affirming a person's strengths. Since couples rarely seek help until something drastic has occurred or erupted, we would find it difficult to recommend this book. With that in mind, the book is good for where it's at, but for it to be great, it needs a lot more depth and strength of its own.

I really enjoyed this book. I was a bit leery of buying it since other reviewers had been annoyed that you apparently needed to buy the strengths test to get the full benefit of the book. Well, that is probably true, but I thought Jimmy Evans' advice was great even without buying the test. Clear, concise, and quick, which is how I need advice these days since I don't have a lot of time for reading. I did end up taking the $20 test for my top 5 strengths, and found the results interesting. (I think they charge way too much for all 34, considering it's a computer program that's doing it...but then, that's business for ya, and it's not the authors of this book who are charging you.) I got the book on sale for my Kindle for $2.99, so it didn't hurt so much to pay for the test. :^)

This book has sparked great discussions in our marriage. As others have mentioned, you will need to complete the Clifton Strengths Finder Assessment. There are options to pay for your top 5 or all 34 in order for a little over $80. It's worth the price to learn more about not only yourself, but more importantly your spouse. My husband and I had previously completed our strengths finder assessments after reading Strengths finder 2.0, so we were prepared to jump into the material and get the full benefit. I feel like I better understand how to tailor my communication style to my husband with more understanding and compassion after going through this book.

This book written by a strengths expert and marriage counselor. It provides real-life scenarios, and each writer provides perspectives on the scenario. One from a strengths perspective and the other from a counselors perspective. I absolutely loved this book, and I've recommended to several people at my church. It really opened by eyes to a new way of view my marriage. Because we tend to communicate from our strengths, and if our spouse has have a different set (which they will) then they will be hearing what you communicate, through their strengths, but this book helped me to understand things. It's really a must have book!

A little too relivious for me, not as cwntered on Gallup’s strengths as it is a basic “ Christain marriage” perspective. Not for me, but if that’s your thing, it could be a great way to focus your partnership around your strengths, instead of wasting time & energy on “fixing” weakness.

My husband and I read this book before getting married and on our first anniversary. We have very strong personalities so it was so helpful to understand how to use those strengths to build our marriage rather to fight against each other. Now we buy this for every couple we know as an engagement gift.

Great book, full of excellent reflections and new points of view into marriage. I definately recommend it. Great for couples to read together.

Excellent book because it is very practical. Some reviewers complain that they were not informed that this requires the reader to take the Clifton Strengths Finder Assessment but it clearly does at the beginning of the book. Without the assessment results, you will get frustrated with what seems to be jargon. If you have the assessment results, the knowledge is very valuable to your marriage.

Fantastic book, really knows how to help

As a CliftonStrengths nerd, I was keen to read this book and see what insights it might provide for my husband and myself. Most of the sections written by Allan Kelsey, the Strengths expert, were incredibly helpful. However, I found myself skipping over some of the more overtly Christian passages by Jimmy Evans. Had I realised that he was a televangelist I probably wouldn't have bought the book. Citing the bible as the sole source of evidence for a claim will never sit right with me. There were some outdated and inaccurate ideas, such as all men and all women having separate needs in a relationship (using the bible as proof!) but uniform across all people of that gender. This clashes directly with Strengths, which emphasises our uniqueness. It was also 100% heteronormative, which in this day and age isn't great. Such a shame as this had the potential to be super informative for those of us interested in Strengths language.