Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?: The Sunday Times bestseller, with over 1 million copies sold

Like a lot of people out there I suffer with anxiety and have had some very low moments over the past few years. Prior to lockdown, I came out of a very bad relationship, for the following two years in lockdown I spent all the time alone with my thoughts, going over and over in my head. I had been put on medication by my doctor but that made me feel worse so I stopped taking it. I felt like there was nothing I could do to fix myself, I didn't want to talk to others as most people I talk to have their own problems. There is more to the story but let's talk about the book that sent me in a better direction. Now I am not really into reading books, but I had been following Dr.Julie on Instagram and had found her advice very helpful. I decided to purchase this book, as I said I am not much of a reader but I found the book very easy to follow and understand. There were so many things in the book that I could relate to and it made me feel like I was not alone, that others out there have the same struggles that I have. There are some simple tasks in the book that are very helpful when in a low mood or a situation where I have struggled to cope with. I bought the book just after release, I have finished reading it but find myself going back to it when my day isn't going so well. This book offers some great advice in a simple, easy-to-understand format.

Haven't read the whole book so far only the first couple of chapters. I will say its a very good read so far and certainly put things into perspective. It explains things very well and gives good information on how to deal with negative thoughts and other things. Certainly helped with a few things i was dealing with.

Fantastic book

The first thing we read about the author in this book (in the dust jacket literally after the book's title), is that Dr Julie Smith is "a social media superstar ... ". First things first; these are the signs of these times. Truth to be told, then the entry carries on introducing Dr Smith as a "trained psychologist" - there's still hope. A large online presence has brought Dr Smith remarkable fame. In her social media "bites" (as she likes to call them), short pieces of advice to cope better with everyday life uploaded to online platforms, Julie always looks relaxed, happy, often enthusiastic. She likes retorting to basic examples, using often pieces of fruit and biscuits to explain her theories; cups of grains of rice become large populations. Sometimes she jumps up and down on a chair to explain why is OK to be happy, or turns the screen into black and white to denote pessimism. These snippets have given Dr Smith followers by the millions. Too much? No, because she's good at what she does, which is explaining an intricate science (psychology) to the layperson. Even better, her advice is always practical, not abstract so the viewer will know how to put the advice to work. She reaches a large audience because she's thorough in what she does, but also simple - in the best sense of the word, she knows what's good for the spectator and how to reach him, she's indeed, and thankfully, no “celebrity” blabbing platitudes. She's an actual scientist, and it shows. At the beginning of her book (her first, surely not her last) Dr Smith explains that said book contains the further "details" of her mini-clips. She thought that there was something missing in those short clips, due to the format constraints, so here it is. Quite a fair point; this book is the elaboration beyond the "bites": what she's left behind for clarity and brevity. And, yet again, she's nailed it, because the book is a worthy piece of counsel and which can be enjoyed with or without the mini videoclips. Dr Smith gathers the right skills necessary to succeed in "popular science": she's knowledgeable, passionate and writes well; and also, she expresses herself very clearly - there's no jargon or unnecessary long words for show or to impress her audience. Furthermore, she's very warm, so much that the pages read like long letters writen by our favorite cousin. And so, with these foundations, the book starts and goes well, and then never drags, never fails; it never loses the reader's attention. Dr Smith goes for width rather than depth and this helps: the book feels well balanced. And at the same time, the author's honesty and cautiousness are ever-present: she explains (repeatedly) that the text is no magic formula for happiness, only a set of tools that, consistently applied, will help the reader. There're some examples along the pages, but Dr Smith never falls for the mistake (tediously common in popular science books) of retorting constantly to examples to fill whole chapters. She does not need that: she knows quite well her trade and is merely willing to share her knowledge and experiences with the reader. And yet again, in the clearest of ways, perhaps at some points treading dangerously (but never falling) for a too simplistic ground. Yet Dr Smith never crosses this line and she never addresses her readers from above, lecturing, much less patronizing her audience. There are many icons and arrows in the book, but the reader never feels treated lightly. On the contrary, the surface is plain, but the core of the book (the “tools”) is quite worthy. And what's wrong with the book? Not much, nothing important. Perhaps the reader could do with less graphics, drawings and charts. These take a good percentage of the total space, a bit too much. For instance, a simple box with three blank columns "Values - goals - day-to-day", a template for the reader to make his / her own charts, takes a whole page. Is that necessary? And related to the previous, this is one against the publisher. The book falls for a common failure: it has 352 pages in the first hardback edition and should have been 152. Not that the text should be shorter, but the spaces, the whole pages containing a title, the chapter divisions and the pages with one or two paragraphs in massive font are all unnecessary and mere distractions (and a sad waste of paper), and all just to make a longer book, perhaps thinking that this will make it more interesting or worthier. As if a volume would be better for merely being thicker. A big mistake, unfortunately quite common these days. But yet again, the book is very good and it could (and should) be only the first of a long and illustrious career. Dr Julie Smith has a lot to tell and she's happy to share it; that's very good news.

Brilliant book thanks

Full disclosure: I haven’t read or listened to the whole book yet. Bought, or as Amazon calls it now, acquired on Audible first and after an hour of listening sort of in the background while I was working realised this is important, and bought, sorry, acquired, the book on Kindle. Also had no idea that author is a clock app rock star because I tried that particular app for 2 days and decided that was not how I wanted to spend the rest of my life, because it was literally all I did for hours on end. Watch one 60 second video after another … Anyway … judgment of apps aside. The reason I am 100% willing to give this book 5 stars straight out of the gate is that I immensely appreciate the lack of waffle and stories. Almost every, no, actually every, help yourself become better book that I own is 80-90% case study, stores and examples. It irritates me. I do not care if some person has done it before. I am not that person. Thanks for the citations but I don’t really care who tested what I care of it works for ME. This book is straight to the point. Opens with a bit of chit chat but the important part is: here is a thing that I believe will help you and here is how to do it. Amazing. The way I passionately wish every self improvement book was so I don’t have to skim through endless pages looking for the relevant and useful part. Perhaps I am too harsh in my judgement of aforementioned app because if it is the reason Dr Julie was able to condense so much immediately applicable immediately helpful advice into a book without insisting on 90% filler then perhaps all authors in the genre should spend time on producing content for it. Do I think this book will change my life? Yes, in small almost imperceptible ways I do believe that one day I will notice a difference in how I respond to the millions of small irritations or wounds we all experience every day that add up to a big bruise if we don’t manage them. IF, and only if, I read, digest and apply what I learn in this book every day to weather the emotional storm.

I have mixed feelings about this book. There's some very strong sections written reliably and that are helpful, reminding me of therapy undertaken taken in the past. Some parts however feel very opinionated and possibly influenced by wanting to create social media friendly soindbites. They can even be dangerous. Take for example the subheader "You don't need to work on your self esteem" This section quickly, actually, turns into a section on aiming to be "successful". These are not the same thing. It feels as though this was misleading and an attempt to hit certain notes and create an ahhh moment rather than being accurate. Self-esteem IS important. And if you don't attach it to being "successful" then it can be absolutely fine to work on it. This headline in the book is misleading and can make you think you shouldn't work on self esteem. I just think that's really unhelpful to convolute phrases like that, especially to people that can be feeling vulnerable and needing help. The notion of not chasing success is fine, and certainly relevant to a world of social media. But that's just it - this feels reverse engineered to meet that customer base, and that just annoys and disappoints me. I expected better or somebody so qualified. I think the author is commenting on certain toxic positivity in regards self esteem and I think she should just be clearer about that rather than saying "don't work on your self-esteem" like.. what the hell, what kind of statement is that?! We shoild cherish and protect our self-esteem, that's the truth. Is the author confused, or just willing to be misleading for a catchy subheading? It's clearly aimed at the social media market that has tried to capitalise on this word, but it's just as bad. So yeah, you need to be careful with this author. She doesn't use words accurately and perhaps more for effect, or at least convolutes meaning in an unhelpful way. Shame because it's got some really strong points and I love the feel of it.

This was the easiest 5 star review I could write! Over the last few years we have had our challenges but Dr Julie has been by the proverbial side through different forums and the book is the cherry on the top. While reading this book you can feel a sense of warmth around you making you feel that you are not alone or not to be ashamed of our vulnerabilities. It is out emotions that define us and we should embrace them. The book guides you in a concise and empathetic manner sitting proudly beside me wherever I am / should I need to refer to it. You can target each topic as and when you need. It is more than a book for me, it is a symbol of hope that we all have our place in the world and there are good people out there caring and supporting us raising mental health awareness. My only wish was that Dr Julie and the book were there when I was younger in my darkest times but I am glad she, and the book is by my side now when my thoughts started to wonder in a negative zone or feeling low. I would go as far to the book is inspiring and life-saving, I genuinely mean that. Even writing this I am tearful but have a sense of joy knowing that I am not alone and that mental health is no laughing matter or makes me a lesser person. I am grateful for everything Dr Julie does and will continue to spread her good work to friends and family. Dr Julie comes across as someone an absolute expert in her field with a genuine care, the world could really learn a lot from her. My final comment is "WHY HASN'T NOBODY TOLD ME THIS BEFORE!"

Orjinal kitap. Sipariş ettiğim günün ertesi günü elime tertemiz ve sorunsuz ulaştı. Kitabın kendisi kapağı cildi orjinal. Çok memnun kaldım. Teşekkür ederim İK.

Update, I finished it and it has been so helpful to me I can back a second time just to make sure I had given this book a positive review! Has been sooo helpful for me. It is everything I said before below, it has got me excited to process my thoughts/feelings/actions and I feel the improvement. I would equate it to the feeling being a month or two into exercising consistently, you never want to lose it after that. If you want clear, helpful knowledge on ways to promote a healthy/thriving mental state I could not recommend this book more. Old review: I’m about 1/3 of the way through and just had to say something. It’s interesting, practical and concise. Doesn’t claim to be the know all just gives the reader helpful, useable knowledge. As a healthcare professional I couldn’t be more happy with how this book is presented and how easy it is to open up and gain some useable knowledge each morning. Definitely recommend.

O livro é muito bom é cheio de riquezas e recomendo muito para todos, em especial para os jovens como eu.

This book should be on everyone's bookshelf. So many tips to get through life on many levels. The chapters are easy to read, the info is easy to digest, and there are work lists at the end of each chapter to help you evaluate things and make them a positive habit in your life going forward.

Isolation. Restriction. Vigilance. Anxiety. Aggravation. The soul-sucking misery of unwanted change. We hear a lot about the coronavirus - its physical symptoms, its medical dangers, the residual effects of severe infection - but we hear next to nothing about the stress of living through an ongoing pandemic. Set the virus aside for a moment. Merely enduring the day-to-day of it all has been extremely hard. The psychological strain? Crushing. And many of the remedies for psychological strain (join a gym, take a class, visit loved ones, get a hug) have been forbidden to us for great stretches of time. This is worth someone's attention, and if the government isn't going to give it any, if the media isn't going to give it any, if Dr. Fauci has his hands full, then I guess we're on our own. For my part, I'll be advancing this book. It's not about the pandemic. It's eight chapters of what our author rightly refers to as "a mental health toolbox." The topics covered are: dark places, motivation, emotional pain, grief, self-doubt, fear, stress, living a meaningful life. And she tells you right up front to skip to the section you need. The rest of the text will wait. She's also straight about exactly what you can expect from her. No cures available, just the means you'll need to persevere until Life loosens up that stranglehold a bit. This is purely pragmatic stuff. What to do to change how you feel. How to calm anxiety right now. How to respond to failure. The importance of routine. I think my favorite part dealt with self-criticism. It was a simple line at the top of Page 159: "if you want a man to get up off the ground, you have to stop beating him." That's just sort of exceptional, you know? So five fat, happy stars for this god-send of a book that will remain in my house on a shelf somewhere…..possibly for the rest of my life.