1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3-Step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting (Positive Parenting Guide for Raising Happy Kids)

This book has been revolutionary for our discipline and child raising and has helped us so much. The basic idea is that you count bad behavior (i.e. "that's one") and then put the child into an age-appropriate length time out on the third count while staying calm and not talking or arguing with the child. The book has other useful tips, such as how to build a closer relationship with your child, but the consistent counting, staying calm, and timeout is the core principle. I wanted to address concerns that a time out for a child who can't self-calm is cruel. I have that child, and I'm the mom who previously tried some of the newer "time in" discipline strategies. Those did not work for us because there was no method (like the counting) to implement them the exact same way every time. I modified 123 magic in that I would not let my child tantrum for more than 10 minutes in his room (clarification that the book says to start with a minute per year of age but then recommends in most cases not letting the child out until the tantrum ends)--at age five he hasn't gone past six or seven minutes of a tantrum, although as the book suggests, I had to make it so the door couldn't open from the inside with the plastic covering you put on the handle. I felt terrible doing this, but he was just walking out of the room during time out or I was forced to sit outside and hold the door shut! I now leave the door open if he stays inside the room, and it still works. Overall, I recommend this book and discipline method. My husband and I were shocked how we went from shouting and frustration to calm, effective counting. It really works.

With all the parenting information out there, I really appreciated the simplicity of this approach. I have a tendency to talk too much and it really does take a lot of practice to hold back but it gets easier the more you do it. It helps keep you as a parent more calm and in control. Instead of thinking in the moment, "how should I handle this tantrum?" or just automatically yelling, it gives me a simple, calm plan. The most important thing I've learned as a parent is to stay consistent and this is no different. Kids catch on pretty quick when they know what to expect because the boundary is being held. I appreciated all the different scenarios in the book and the realness of a lot of the parents that felt very relatable. It doesn't always work perfectly with my kids every time but a majority of the time it does. I definitely still have some room for improvement. Loved that it was an easy and enjoyable read. I looked forward to reading it each day and I do not consider myself a reader.

So I picked up this book based on a reference to better handle my six year old autistic, FASD, ADHD child who is doing well but was becoming more defiant of late. The book is pretty close to the parenting that I have been doing BUT for some important differences. I updated my approach to match the book and BANG! my son snapped right back into being a pretty good kid. I developed my parenting approach over 10 years using trial and error with my kids. This book validated most of my approach but did a lot more such as: 1) Explaining WHY the approach is needed. This is important because you better understand when and when not to use an approach. 2) Goes over the border cases of how to apply an approach and when to seek help (which wasn’t needed by me but is comforting to know). 3) Explains the approach in detail. This is more important than you may think as for example, you may know the basics (counting 1, 2, 3) but the details such as not making a comment or explaining your actions to your child are important! This book explains why that is important and because you know why you shouldn’t talk, you know when to break the rule. I wish I had read this book when my first child was born. It would have saved us all some pain and suffering. There are some tweaks I would recommend for a neural divergent child but they fall within the suggestions of the book and again, because you know why you do things, you know when to break the rules as called out in the book. I strongly recommend this book. If I can use it effectively to manage my speech delayed, ADHD, autistic, FASD child, you can certainly use it effectively on your neural normal child. Happy Parenting! PS: For special needs parents: having a book explaining how you are parenting your child is quite useful. My school district did not provide special training to teachers and special needs aides. Being able to give them a book explaining how to work with him has all kinds of knock on benefits. This will be a book I plan to provide to his teachers at the start of each year!

123 magic is an incredible discipline method. The second half took forever to get through. Start behavior and beyond lost me for sure.

My parents used this book to parent my sisters and I, so I am excited to read it and use it on my boy! 1-2-3 magic teaches kids that they have the opportunity to make the decision to continue doing whatever they shouldn’t be, or they can stop and avoid a time out! I think it is helpful to read and a great way for parents to introduce discipline

This is SUCH a great book, written in an understandable, conversational style. My copy is underlined and ear marked to share things with my husband. If you're trying to help your child with behavior refinement and at your wits end, buy it. It's smart. The implementation strategy is very clear, down providing the exact conversation to have with your child before you start this new approach. Remembering that our kids learn self-regulation from us is a perspective-shaper, as well as remembering the Little Adult Syndrome we often project on our kids. The No Talking rule for parents is golden and effective. Besides managing anger, the other sections are helpful and related (even dealing with homework, dinner, and bedtime challenges). Chapter 19 on Sympathetic Listening has been an effective strategy for dissolving anger in my child, particularly reflecting his feelings. I'd recommend this book to anyone struggling with behavior.

The content of the book is as expected. Good. I purchased this as a gift for my daughter because my grandson is approaching his two's. Since it is a gift, I vacillated between the paperback and hard cover versions as I was concerned about the paper quality of the pages in the paperback. Since there was a $36 difference between the two, I ultimately went with the paperback. I got the book today and the paper quality met my expectations. That is to say, it is as poor as I anticipated. I understand you get what you pay for but am incredulous the price difference between good paper and poor could be so much (even factoring in the hard cover).

Please do not wait to get this book! I have tried everything for my son who is still undergoing testing for possible ADHD. His father and I have done everything we know to do to help with his "fits" which have been for over 3 years now. Screaming, crying, physical contact, yelling, throwing, etc... Nothing was helping over all. Until his pediatrician recommended 123 Magic. THIS BOOK OPENED OUR EYES! we are still in the beginning stages of implementing the program, but already see a difference. What we thought was proper punishment and disciplining for our children was actually incorrect and the explication of WHY is in the book. My 5 year old son, for the first time ever, came to me and sincerely apologized for being so bad. Never has he done that without being prompted to apologize. Also, if you are like me you feel stressed, tired, and exhausted from your constant struggle to make your little one mind you. Well, this book helps with that too. I experienced an epic fit when we started this and I, for the first time, truly stayed calm, did not get upset, or angry. I can really follow the steps and begin to understand what is happening and HOW to deal with it. Kids aren't born with manuals…. well I disagree its called 123 Magic! If you have a kid this book can help no matter the situation, if your thinking of having kids... read this! It will give you incite on realistic situations and how to deal with it when the time comes, this will also open your eyes on what parenting will take. Im looking forward to planning family vacations now and knowing we all can ENJOY it! Buy the book, read it, and actually stick to it! It will be difficult, but it is WORTH IT! For your kids joy and yours.

Great read for self awareness and reflection as a parent. They offer creative ways of getting your thoughts out. Great price for the product and I would recommend this to any parent. Learning is never ending and it’s always nice to get more support.

We already started to apply whst’s in the book and it’s grest

Just buy it and start applying the principles . You are sure to get results.

Excelente, mas precisa saber inglês

Brilliant. Really made a difference with our kids and a change in their behaviour. The lack of discussion after testing behaviour is so simple but crazy how effective it is when you get the knack!