Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It

I bought this book to help me through a breakup that would never end. He and I kept breaking up and getting back together and then breaking up again. And each time we broke up, I felt like my world was going to end and that I could not bear the grief. This unbearable sadness was a large part of what drew me back to him each time. The real reason we couldn't make our relationship work is that I couldn't bear to be alone. I needed him with me all the time, and I needed him to tell me and show me how much he loved me, constantly, or I wouldn't love myself. He did not have the time nor the energy nor the desire, frankly, to be my everything. I put an unfair amount of responsibility on him to prop me up and, in turn, I gave him all the power in the world to make me either happy or unhappy. Nearing our tenth breakup--yet another iteration of this Groundhogs Day nightmare--I knew I needed help. I needed to find the strength to end this relationship, even though I loved the guy, so that I could finally learn to love myself. How did I find this book? James Altucher's blog. He talked about how the author, Kamal, felt physically sick from all the emotional pain he suffered, and one day he felt like he couldn't take it anymore. That sounded a lot like me. So I bought the book, read it through in one sitting, and started telling myself immediately that "I love myself" over and over. Soon after reading the book, I broke up with the guy. Again. But with a difference. This time I had a new tool in my emotional tool belt (this book) that would guide me through to the other side of my suffering. I wouldn't need to immediately fill the hole in my life with the guy (or someone else) because I would fill it on my own, by loving myself. I am skeptical of reviewers that claim how effective self-help books (or other obviously long-term practices) are after only 2 days of using them, but that's me right now. Like I said, I've been through this break-up cycle way too many times, and I am very familiar with the horrible aftermath. This breakup, with this book in my arsenal, feels distinctly different. I am comfortable--even happy--that I am alone and able to work on loving myself really hard. When I feel the waves of pain threatening to drown me, I just repeat the mantra "I love myself" until the pain passes, and it always does. I realize now that it would be very difficult for me to have a healthy relationship with anyone until I love myself as much as I wish for others to love me. I think I have known this fact for a long time, but I never had the slightest idea of how to go about loving myself--what does that even mean? As other reviewers have described, this short book outlines the few, simple steps you can take to practice loving yourself. I can totally take these steps because they are so simple and because they help me feel good when I'm feeling bad. If you are going through a bad breakup, try this book. If you are failing at relationship after relationship because it seems that no one can meet your bottomless need for love, try loving yourself first. This book can help.

I reviewed this also on my blog. Here is the review: Kamal went missing. We had been corresponding for over a year, ever since I started this blog. I'm very grateful for the great friends I have met through this blog. It has been a totally unexpected but much appreciated benefit of doing this. Finally I was visiting San Francisco and after 100s of emails back and forth during the prior year, I was getting all set to meet Kamal Ravikant. But he didn't show up for our planned breakfast. His brother, Naval, called him a few times. "He's at home," Naval said, "but he's not picking up. His illness must be overwhelming him today." Naval had a GPS specifically attached to where Kamal was. Kamal was very sick. This had been going on for months. He had gotten more and more sick. Some days he couldn't move or wake up. Other days he had enough energy to go outside but only for minutes and then he had to go back inside. Kamal's sickness was chronic. The doctors couldn't help him, he was infinitely tired, feverish, in pain, and it was getting worse. I knew from our correspondences that Kamal had been going through a hard time before he got sick. His company, which had once been well enough to raise a significant amount of money, was faltering, perhaps failing. He had recently broken off a relationship. A close friend had died. Often when we attach our happiness to external goals: financial success, relationship success, etc, we get disappointed. Even when things work out, everything cycles, the happiness is often fleeting. When those goals break, the external pain immediately gets reflected into our internal bodies. Our emotions break. We feel sad, disappointed, in pain. We cling to the past happiness, or our hoped-for goals that now have to change. It often feels like your arm is being torn off your body. But Kamal was trying to hold it all together to be fair to everyone within his company - the employees, the investors, the customers. He was clinging to the past, to the future. To everything and everyone but his own happiness in the present. So his emotional body couldn't handle it anymore. His emotional arms and legs were torn off. And then his physical body broke. He completely broke down. I noticed he had dropped out of touch a few months earlier and I hadn't seen his comments on the blog in awhile. "What's going on?" I wrote him. "I'm sick," was his reply. He dropped out. But then he started getting better. He started writing again and telling me what was going on in his life. He started commenting on the blog again and interacting with the great community developing here. He was aive again. We finally ended up meeting. "How'd you get better?" I asked. "What happened?" "I'll tell you the secret," he said, "I thought I was going to die. I was just lying in bed and couldn't move, I had a high fever, and was in too much pain. I really thought I was going to die. Finally, I just started saying over and over again, "I love myself." He paused and started saying it right then as if still in the cure. "I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I would repeat it all day. " As Kamal then says in the just published book, "Love Yourself As If Your Life Depends On It" about his experience: "And I got better. My body started healing faster. My state of mind grew lighter. But the thing I never expected or imagined, life got better. But not just better, things happened that were fantastically out of my reach. This I couldn't have dreamed of [...] I found myself using the word `magic' to describe what was happening. And through it all I kept repeating to myself, "I love myself. I love myself. I love myself." In the book Kamal describes his transition from sickness into health and the other magical things that happened to him. He also gives a series of techniques and practices to try this for yourself in a variety of ways and finally he answers the dreaded question, what happens if you don't love yourself? Can you still get this magic into your life? "Think about it," he said to me months later when we met in NYC, "when someone is in love, they almost magically look better. I needed to be in love with myself to feel better. So much of what had happened had weighed on me until I collapsed. Now I needed to love myself. It became a mantra for me." As someone explained to me the other day, the word "mantra" has two parts (in Sanskrit): "man" - thoughtfulness with zeal, and "tra" - to protect. So by saying "I love myself" over and over Kamal was protecting the thought, nourishing it, and the love was nourishing the rest of his body, his emotions, his mind, his spirit. Kamal is now completely recovered. He also figured out the situation with his business and when I saw him in NYC it was as if a gigantic weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He is so recovered that I can't recommend enough the book about his experience, available on Kindle right here. He used Amazon directly, uploaded the book and it became available within days after he wrote it. I'll let a quote from Kamal's excellent book close this post: "If a painful memory arises, don't fight it or try to push it away - you're in quicksand. Struggle reinforces pain. Instead, go to love. Love for yourself. Feel it. If you have to fake it, fine. It'll become real eventually Feel the love for yourself as the memory ebbs and flows. That will take the power away. And even more importantly, it will shift the wiring of the memory. Do it again and again. Love. Re-wire. Love. Re-wire. It's your mind. You can do whatever you want.[...] The results are worth it. I wish that for you."

This book may be short and simple, but thats what I like about it, it removes all the filler and sticks to exactly what it says on the tin, I had it finished within the hour, but due to the price I didnt have an issue with that whatsoever. It was satisfying wrapping it up and knowing I could instantly start to do the work. However, I do feel that the author was in a different place to where many others may be when they are about to read it. I believe the author was more than ready to begin loving himself and the affirmation was simply the final nail on the coffin in terms of disposing of his self hatred. This would mean that the mantra was to have a powerful effect as everything else was already in place, most importantly the willingness to FEEL the self love. I and possibly others on the other hand, still may have barriers , doubts and a lack of willingness (even if we tell ourselves the opposite), so for me even though this book initially had an extremely positive effect and left me with extraordinary high hopes but after a week or so the mantra/affirmation began to sound empty and almost meaningless and the doubts began to really creep in again as I could sense the experience of low self esteem creep back in again, despite my efforts to not just say the words, but feel them too. Leaving this review on a positive note, I can definitely say it opened things in my mind, it revealed to me what I had been telling myself all along and it definitely gave me at least a temporary experience of what it really feels like to love and accept yourself exactly as you are. This propelled me into an even more ambitious attempt at self love and brought me on to other books and articles. So for that reason I am leaving a positive review and recommendation. Summary: It was worth the money and the kickstart, but I feel more needs to be done for myself than what is described in this book.

This book is so inspiring. Kamal makes it simple to follow and takes the guesswork out of trying to love ourselves. I like the simple 10 breaths, the vow, and the reminder to keep going all in and stop coasting. Definitely worth the read! Highly recommend it!

This is such a profound work of art! This book REALLY HELPED ME to get in touch with myself! For many MANY years, I have made tons of bad decisions....with choosing jobs, relationships, my health, etc. It was because the "self love " was not there! After reading this book, I learned the importance of what it really means to love yourself! Throughout the entire book, the author poses the question, "If I loved myself truly and deeply, what would I do?" That question alone is so in depth, because it causes you to stop and think about EACH AND EVERY ACTION that you indulge in. When faced with the dilemma for choosing poor food choices....you ask yourself that question. If someone approaches you with a questionable situation or scenario, you ask yourself that question! It really causes you to STOP and THINK about only making healthy LOVING choices for yourself. I liked the exercises the author proposed in his book. I did do "the list." I wrote down all the things I needed to forgive myself for...and then I went and ripped it up and threw it into a lake! You know something, I actually do feel a tad lighter?! It's like, after forgiving myself for everything (and giving it all to the lake), it's kinda like..."It's done, time to move on towards my future" (and leave the past in the past). I am trying to be more consistent with the meditation (another exercise the author also encourages his readers to do). I did start and I think meditating to only 7 minutes with music is a wonderful idea! I found a lovely Mozart song that was a little over 7 minutes and I have been enjoying practicing meditation. I do need to work on my "vow" to myself. Overall, this was such a wonderful and INSPIRATIONAL book! I went from having no "self love" to now loving myself UNCONDITIONALLY (& uncontrollably)!!!! I now find myself doing A LOT more for me, taking care of ME more! I find purpose now, in the things that I do. I'm establishing boundaries more and focusing more on my health and well being...these are all things that I never took into consideration, before reading this book! I actually bought three copies of this book. One for myself and the others were for my mother and sister. I hope this book helps them as much as it has helped me! This book has really changed my life (for the better) and my way of thinking! I am truly grateful for this book! If you are someone who suffers from low self worth, low self esteem or self love....give this book a try. I'm telling you, this book will change your life! You'll wish you would have read this book sooner! This just just an incredible life changing book! Thank you Mr. Kamal!

This is an excerpt from a review I wrote on my blog about Kamal's book, which truly has changed the direction of my life - What would you be doing with your life right now if you were madly, truly, deeply in love with yourself? Just sit quietly for a moment with the question. Close your eyes and really think about it. What would a person in your shoes do if they really loved themselves? I'm talking the kind of love a parent has for their child, the kind of fierce intensity that will drive them to do anything to ensure their child's wellness and happiness. Even if it means giving up everything they have. I didn't know that happiness began with getting the inside stuff right. With facing the truth about what I wanted from my life, no matter how crazy it might have sounded. So I ate. And in between eating, and working, and going out and showing how cool and happy I was by having massive drinking nights with my buddies, I started searching. I read all the self-help books from my Dad's shelves, all the Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy and Zig Ziglar, and I loved it. I bought my own books, `Change Your Thinking', `Authentic Happiness', `How To Change Your Life in 30 Days'. I'd sit and have coffee and read and journal and dream, but I just couldn't figure out how to get from where I was to `there'. And so I'd close my book and go home and I'd eat, and my deep down worries that maybe I wasn't so special after all would drift away. When my (first) marriage ended, my husband wondered how he hadn't seen it coming just by looking properly at my bookshelf. I wondered too. In the end I did give up everything I had and start afresh. Everything, even my toaster. And I built my life anew, a much happier and more fulfilling one. I've ticked off many challenges, said no to a bunch of `you gotta dos', and I'm enjoying my ongoing development. Safe to say, I love my life, most of the time. But when I read Kamal's book and I looked in the mirror and tried to - without blinking - say `I love myself', I cried. And I could just do it anyway without looking away, but at the same time I could hear the little voice telling me - As if. You don't love yourself. Not truly. You're not worthy of love. You have unpaid debts, a messy house, photos that haven't been printed in years. Things to put on ebay, and projects to finish. You haven't even cleared out your inbox. Who are you to love yourself? The voice will tell you that if you just do this one more thing, then it will all be okay. And because you're human and you like to believe there's an answer, you listen. And you strive to do the one more thing, all the while worrying about the other things you haven't yet achieved. You don't stop to think about whether the things you're working your life away for reflect self-love or just quiet desperation. And the need to keep enough, to be enough. So stop. Think about the stuff that consumes your head and your life. Think about the fact that you have one - ONE - life to live, and that it is slipping through your fingers as we speak. There goes another second of your life, DEAD. Gone, forever. Did you love it? Did you love yourself during in it? And how would the next year of your life change if you were madly, truly, deeply, passionately in love with yourself? The direction of my life has changed in the past 8 or 9 days since reading this book. The real me, the one I've been hiding without knowing it, thinking won't be good enough, is coming out to play. I thought I was healed because I quit bulimia years ago. I thought my happy, healthy, successful life was enough. And I didn't understand why it didn't feel like enough, why I felt as though I was still having to impress people or do things a certain way even with working for myself. Starting to love myself is helping me to find myself. I hope it can do the same for you. Get the book. It will change your life. Kat [...]

I love the idea of teaching self love. But I really really dislike the cover of this book. I think that having a picture of a gun pointed to the head of a person is just not a great idea. I get the point and know it's eye catching and great marketing, but what a horrific image to place in the minds of anyone, adult or child, who happens to just glance at it. The contents are good and I enjoyed his message, although a bit repetitive. But the cover makes me feel ick; total opposite of the way the cover of "How to be Totally Awesome" by Melody Litton makes me feel (which I also read this week). Both books attempt to help improve life and bring smiles and good feelings, but I think the latter is the one I'll be buying as gifts this year. I think the positive affirmation of "I love myself" is very powerful. There are other positive affirmations out there that I feel are of benefit to use in conjunction with it though and would have enjoyed it if this book had expanded just a bit on that.

I loved the brevity of the book and I felt it could have been shorter. The core concept that drives the book is learning to love yourself. I took that concept on as a meditative practice. The question posed in the book was if you loved yourself what would you do. It also took on the concept on reprogramming your thought patterns which was very helpful and what makes the book a good read. This is a book where it would be wise to do some journaling and practicing the meditation. I loved the revision. I think adding in letters of forgiveness to the practice is immeasurably useful. The cover was off putting for me and the lack of audiobook was also off putting. And it’s a quick read that you can finish in one evening. Well worth the time as it helped me find my center and I have been happy instead of anxious since I started to doing the steps in the book.

Thank you Kamal for a simple how to do guide, easy steps to follow and very practical. Thank you for being courageous in sharing your vulnerable moments. The book helped me to shift self care and love to a new level. Zarina.

It's not in my habit writing a comment, but I think if this can encourage just one person dealing with self-esteem, kind of lack of confidence, questions about your worth, looking for external approbation... please read this book, it's worth of buying. Thanks to the author, I truly appreciate your work. This book is a blessing for me.

Molte recensioni negative contestano a questo libro la semplicità, alla fine il grande consiglio dell'autore è quello di ripetersi, per ore ogni giorno "I love myself" (amo me stesso). Detto così, specialmente ad una scettica come me, non sembra una cosa degna di cambiare la vita nè tantomeno un libro degno di essere letto, ma a mio avviso è un libro da leggere lo stesso, bisogna almeno sentire la storia piena di speranza e molto diretta dell'autore. Penso che la ripetizione di una frase sia una forma di meditazione e che possa aiutare nel caso di depressione, ansia o quando non riusciamo a mettere freno alla nostra mente (chi non ha di questi momenti?), se invece di pensare "sono in ansia, oddio come farò, non ce la faccio ad arrivare a stasera" penso "amo me stesso, amo me stesso, amo me stesso" sicuramente come minimo un po' di pace dal mio dialogo interiore la recupero. Sono altresì convinta che funzioni comunque ripetere una qualunque altra frase, poichè funziona come una calamita per spostare l'attenzione (sono un unicorno, sono un unicorno, sono un unicorno =))

I loved this book. I feel the author is very sympathetic and authentic. The message in this book is very simple and practical. Love yourself. The methods that the author describes are very simple and practical too. One example is to repeat the statement „I love myself“ over and over and over. I have found that affirmations like „I am successful“ typically do not work. But somehow this is different. It is not about accomplishibg something on the outside, but about how you feel on the inside and affirmations do work in this context. I think it changes something inside you, if you go in full force and repeat it as much as humanly possible. Perhaps it is „just“ your focus. I also love this technique because my mind needs something to do and I am and always have been very stubborn to focus on one thing and try to learn everything about it. Change my entire being to reaching my goals. But now for the first time the goal is not to be more empathetic, successful, rich, attractive, kind but to simply love myself as I am and therefore allow myself to breath.. Finally I agree with the other reviews. It is not really a book, but more of a longer essay.

I loved this book because it gives you great advice of very simple and easy actions to take that will have an amazing impact in your life.