In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends. (Mom’s Choice Award Winner)

We’re in the process of adoption after years of infertility and pregnancy loss. My family has known but hasn’t been intimately involved. This book sheds SO much light on our journey and how to love our future adopted kiddos. My favorite part is that at the end of every chapter, there is a “What you can do” section giving practical advice to friends and family of an adoptive family. I’ll be buying more to give out for Christmas 🫶🏼

Love this book. It's a quick read with lots of useful information. My husband and I are adopting, and looking for a good resource for our family (especially the grandparents). This book presents several different perspectives, and offers families real advice (allow time to grieve just like the adoptive parents may have, specific questions to ask to be involved, and pragmatic info about different adoption processes). I think this is a must read if your family or friends are adopting and you are looking to learn more about the process. Also good for adoptive parents to read to understand what their family might be feeling or wondering.

We are in the process of adopting a child from foster care, and bought this book for both sets of our parents. They have been excited for us, but a little overwhelmed and not quite sure how to "get their heads around" the issues, process and considerations. It was hard for us to know how much to share without scaring them. This book was perfect! My Dad said he read it in one sitting and it clarified a lot of generational differences in adoption for him. We also have a common base of knowledge and it has opened up some lines of discussion that we just didn't know how to broach before. I really recommend this for anyone adopting that wants to keep their family "positively excited but aware." :)

Immediate family members are in the process of an international adoption and I was looking for some concrete suggestions from someone who has "been there, done that" with respect to ways to support them. This book was full of a lot of common sense ideas phrased in ways that I hadn't previously thought of. There were some great suggestions on how to support a family member or friend going through the adoption process. It also is beneficial to validate some feelings expressed by our family. Lastly, I really liked the list of additional resources available at the back of the book for more specific info pertaining to individual circumstances. This book is being passed around to our other family members.

This is the single best, of probably 10 adoption/foster books I've read. If you are starting down the path of adoption, and would like to circumvent family discussions that are going to needle you, buy your family members a copy now. Not only did I find it enjoyable, it was written in a way that wasn't preachy, a way that I felt would help family members understand the adoption journey without feeling like I wanted them to be brown beaten.

I am preparing to teach a breakout session at an adoption retreat about how to choose resource books for adoptive family libraries. I reviewed this book to find out if I wanted to include it in my list of recommended books. Overall, I like the idea of this book a lot! It offer GREAT points that I feel would have been helpful to share with my own family before we adopted two of our children. We've gotten several difficult comments in front of our children, or have had extended family over share because they just didn't know what's appropriate (and we should have told them). It hits on some more difficult topics, like addressing inappropriate questions, especially when asked in front of children. I also like how O'Toole helps to equip relatives and friends to answer adoption-related questions, making sure to be sensitive to the family and child's story. Although the book does touch on attachment and cocooning, I was hoping for more information about why adoptive parents often choose to "shelter" (cocoon) their new child for extended periods of time from other adults and even children. This can be difficult to understand for many people, and I think a few more pages about attachment and bonding would have been helpful. The other topic I was hoping to see but was missed was the effects of trauma, neglect, and abuse on the brain. Even children who were adopted at birth experience trauma, and many children who are adopted spend years in very neglectful, traumatic orphanages. This is very real for many adoptive families and needs to be discussed with relatives and close friends, because it can certainly affect the way we parent and discipline our children. Other than that, 4 stars for awesome content. I'll definitely be suggesting that families refer to this book for the relatives and friends!

I read this book because I plan to pass it along to family members to read as we prepare for our adoption. It was incredibly helpful and did a good job at stating so many of the things that I have been thinking/feeling during the process. It talks about attachment, how we as the adoptive parents will be protective of birth parents, how it is important to protect baby's birth story, about culture, etc. It gives tips to family members about what they can do/say.

My husband and I (we're the one’s adopting) read this before giving it to family members (plural, because we've bought 2 copies and may buy more). We both think it addresses and explains all the steps we're going through and kindly but straight forwardly helps others understand them as well. I would be amiss if I didn't also admit that it brought up a few things we hadn't talked about, so it launched some important conversations. It's a quick read and a must read for everyone involved in adoption.

Just what I wanted,explained everything what I needed to know.

Fast read but very informative.

Unfortunately alot of information is aimed at USA adoptions not rlevant in this country. I have since bought a book from Adoption UK direct only £3.99 written by a child which is perfect for family members. This book is very long winded and not ideal. Only shared it with one friend who i know loves reading!

In on it is a great addition to your library - whether you are adopting or are part of the extended family/friends of someone adopting, this book is a great resource. It summarizes all the essential points within adoption in an easy to read format. This book is hands-on and practical. It's great to have said by someone else what you would like to say to your family and friends about adoption! It is a must read for anyone in the larger adoption circle!

This book was recommended to me by my daughter who is in the process of adopting. I highly recommend it! It was very insightful .