Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

Even though I have studied a ton of personal growth, energy healing and relationship books and classes. I must say this book brings new insight into the relationship between man and woman. The examples, the theories, and the exercises are incredibly valuable to resolve a ton of problems between couples. Wish I read this book 6-10 years ago. That was the problem! Even though I had 2 masters degrees, traveled many places, and worked many businesses, I was still blind about many things. And I did not know how blind I was. We don't know what we don't know! To make the the matters worse, we don't always learn the right lessons from our experiences without consciously seeking personal improvement! It is like if we screw up doing something, instead of learning what to do to succeed, we often learn the lesson, based on our fear of failure, don't do it, it's not for me. That's why so many people fail their marriages over and over again, even though you'd think they must have learned from their experiences. Or some people learn "marriage is not for me", so they don't try it anymore. It's like if you got sick eating something once, you concluded never to eat that thing again, without finding out why. Mistakes are never the problem, refusing to learn is. If you think your relationship can be improved, this is a must book to read! If you think changing parter will solve your problem, you are wrong! Because whatever the problems we have in any relationship, are the same as the successes we have in a relationship . They are the result of team work! That means we are partially responsible for it. As far as which part, that is for us to face the issues to find out. So that we don't bring our unresolved problems to our next relationship. Marriage and Divorce are just ways to accomplish something, hopefully in the long run better for everyone involved. Conscious decisions require wisdom, courage and knowledge ( tools). This book doesn't cost anything compare to your pain or potential gain. It is available in many languages. Now you know what's available. You can practice this with your partner, or not. We are given the freedom of choice. With that freedom, we are no longer a slave. That means, we must take initiatives to better ourselves and our lives. Nobody will require us to do so. We are our own masters, like it or not. If after going through this with your partner, you are still not getting the expected result, at least you will be more conscious about what is really going on. What the problem really is. Then you can make a better decision with your partner what to do. Through the process, you will become an emotionally stronger and more conscious person. You will not be a victim easily anymore. And you will not continue practicing resentment, avoidance, evasion, rationalization, self justifications to blind yourself ..... easily anymore. Your honesty and courage will induce your incredible self love, self respect, true compassion for yourself and others, and your personal power. Life is to be lived, knowledge is to be practiced! The game of life is not for spectators! If you want to watch from the sideline, you can do it after you leave this earth. Now is the time to live, love and grow fully. Please remember, from my personal experience, we don't know what we don't know. Ignorance is not a blessing! Be humble, be curious. The cost of ignorance is like signing a blank check, the universe will fill in the amount as it sees fit to catch all your attention at some point! May all of us live with passion, joy and peace !

I was first introduced to this book by my partner back in the late 90's after it had been published and was just starting to receive widespread recognition. I found it absolutely fascinating right from the start. So much so that, as I was a consultant working in related areas, I tracked down the Mars Venus organization in the USA to try and get the rights to run training programs in Australia. I was informed that a couple in Melbourne had beaten me to it. Not to be deterred, I contacted them and to cut a long story short they trained and appointed me the agent for Sydney. I went to the USA to work with and observe Dr. John Gray to complete my accreditation and came back to Sydney all fired up to go and sell the programs. Unfortunately, I encountered 2 major problems: 1. Private couples were reluctant to outlay the necessary program fees out of their own pockets. 2. Businesses saw it as personal development and wouldn't pay for their employees to attend the training. I also had some problems with the contractural arrangements so I subsequently decided to cut my losses and give up the license. That was disappointing but the venture was a great personal learning experience for me. To get back to the book itself, the principles in it are revolutionary for relationships but they are not natural. What most people consider are normal and reasonable responses to communication problems between men and women simply don't work very well. Often, even if well intended they only make the situation worse. The Mars Venus principles do work. Apart from my professional knowledge about it my partner and I found this out ourselves. We had a good relationship beforehand but by applying the Mars Venus principles our relationship improved out-of-sight. And the thing is, it would be almost impossible to figure it out for youself; you really have to be taught because the concepts are counter-intuitive, not what you would think would work. Just recently, as I write this (February, 2013), there's been noise in the media about how the insights established by John Gray are now out of date and men and women are not really that different at all. Well, don't believe it. There are significant differences in the way the opposite sexes communicate and what each needs in a relationship. So, I suggest you buy the book and give it a try yourself. I'm certain you will be pleasantly surprised at the results. Footnote: Whatever you do, don't make the mistake of buying the book and then giving to your partner to read with the aim of "fixing" them. That would just backfire on you. Instead, first read and apply the approaches yourself and then perhaps ask your partner to give you their opinion on a SMALL part of one appropriate chapter of the book.

good book

This is a book that is well-known, and has been on my list for a while. As the author stated, take what applies, and leave the rest. I found several great points which may help individuals in their relationships. Additionally, the author stated the importance of therapy, and outside support which is important to improving oneself, and relationship.

Purchased for a friend. I read this years ago and loaned it out so many times that it never came back. Great advice for man/woman relationships!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. I had been out of a 2 year relationship for three months ruminating where it went wrong. I really loved her and we had a beautiful 14 months before it went south. A girl friend of mine said "you don't understand women and it's evident that she did not understand men" she was a little more detailed but mention I should read the book. I have read it three times in 2 months, each time it gave me more insight. What I discovered was that I was being very supportive until I had to really focus on a project for work, it's was my first project as a project manager with a new company. At the end of day I was exhausted and did not feel like talking, she took it personal with negativity and blame which got my defenses up feeling attacked, blamed, unappreciated, unloved, not understood as if I was doing it on purpose. This is the moment I wish we had had this book. John is a great writer, he is sensitive in his delivery explaining men first and thier natural habits within a man's world, it's spot on and made me laugh. I think this takes pressure off women from feeling attacked, or as if most of the issues come from women's emotional and hormonal differences. None of us are wrong to feel the way we do, but I think in today's world we all need to work on delivery and response to our partners who we are supposed to trust, support, love and work diffrences out understanding where the other is coming from as just a fact of nature not on an emotional level. Hard concept at first until you read this. As a man, I highly suggest reading this book, girls do need more patience, love, support, reassurance and validation, thier world is complex where a man's mind is black and white focusing on the task and completing the mission. It's a more simple process.

I've mixed feelings on this book. On one hand, it articulates a good framework for the gender generalities that I've observed and for the most part, the author takes care not to paint with a broad brush. In fact, his intro takes care to acknowledge individual differences within that gender spectrum. He also provides a lot of good strategies for peacemaking and reconciliation as well, like the Love Letters. I especially liked the ending chapter on the seasons of love-- it matches what I've seen in long-term relationships. On the other hand, I definitely felt that much of his advice was very heavily slanted in the man's favor, at significant risk of turning the woman into a doormat. For example, when a man withdraws, the author advises the woman to basically just accept it if the man doesn't want to come out and provide the needed or requested support. This ranges from simple requests like "could you take out the trash" to rather necessary errands: "could you take me to the shop to pick up my car so I can go to work" or "could you pick up our kid from school" (taking examples from the book). If someone resisted doing those last two things, especially on a regular basis, I would seriously question his/her priorities, as well as their suitability as a partner and parent. I would also regard an unwillingness to provide emotional support as a yellow flag, especially if the onus for emotional maintenance falls on one party-- in this book's case, it's usually the woman. Is the man upset? The woman has to give him space and be caring and accepting, no matter how he responds. Is the woman upset? She has to figure out why she's upset, tell the man she's upset, then sit back and... basically leave the rest up to him. If he becomes caring and accepting in turn, great. If he's still distant, then the onus falls back on her to do more work. In other words, many, if not most, of the author's proposed sacrifices seem to fall on the woman to bear, because men are the way they are (i.e., from Mars). I can't really think of a section in which he says, "men, if a woman responds this way, just accept it-- that's how women are." Overall, I'd keep and re-read the book for its insights, but it's very much picking out what works and glossing over the rest.

This book has completely shifted our relationship! I highly recommend. We truly are so incredibly different in the way we think and perceive the world and knowing these things is tremendously helpful. I will say that it took me a while to get through the first part of the book but once you do, the real meat of the book is priceless

Hace muchos años que leí el libro en inglés. Me gustó tanto que lo compré en español para regalar a una amiga. A ella le ha sorprendido y gustado aprender las diferencias que hay entre hombres y mujeres de una manera tan clara y divertida . Es un libro estupendo que hay que leer y guardar.

great book, really helped to understand my wife. It was a lot of fun to read and i am still using it !

Interesting book

I ordered in English edition. Pack with care, And I read one chapter, But its is amazing book. Thank you.

This is an amazing book! I’m from Colombia and my partner is from Canada. We have some cultural differences but the book has given us lots of tools to help us understand each other. It’s been working ever since we moved in together.