The Ungrateful Refugee: What Immigrants Never Tell You

I read this book after having read her brother Daniel's book "Everything Sad is Untrue". Her brother's book has many of the same elements of their personal story but is overall quite a different book. By the way, his book is excellent and I recommend it. I've bought a few extra copies to give away, liked it that much. I liked this book as well but for different reasons. She does a wonderful job of interweaving her story with the story of other refugees. In some ways it is entertaining as the stories are full of suspense, drama and often tragedy. But then you remember these are not fictional stories. These are things that really happened. So for me it was very sobering and along with her brother's book made me think more deeply on refugees. In some ways it changed my views and in others it deepened my current feelings (all in positive ways). It made me want to explore ways I could assist in a small way in the refugee community. The book opened my eyes and heart to other ways of thinking. Without knowing the author personally, so only going by her words in the book, I think we come at many topics from a very different point of you and may disagree on solutions to issues. While we'd agree that something needs to be done on a variety of topics we may disagree on the best course of action. But I got the sense that while she is someone who is passionate and holds some strong views, she is someone who is willing to listen and hear other points of view. Is willing to change her stance on something if she receives better information or is shown another vantage point. In this day and age when so many people refuse to listen, refuse to believe there is another way to look at something I find this refreshing. There are a few ideas put forth and viewpoints with which I disagree, but that's ok. Overall I really liked the book. Definitely recommend this book. Just be prepared to be challenged. But that's a good thing, as either you may change your view on a point or you may learn more about your current view and decide it is correct after being challenged. Either way, you'll be thinking.

Dina Nayeri shares her experiences (and those of her mother and her brother) of being a refugee; first fleeing Iran, then finding temporary housing in Italy, the U.A.E. and finally being granted asylum in America. She combines her family’s experiences with those of other refugees that she met along the way. Nayeri’s book is a compelling read. Nayeri is blunt and to the point as she speaks of life as a refugee, the dangers, the struggles and the expectations of others to be a “good” refugee. Of particular interest are the refugee/asylum procedures in countries like the U.S. and how some dangers are ranked above others, "I thought of how my first retelling was in an asylum office in Italy: how merciless that with the sweat and dust of escape still on our brows, we had to turn our ordeal into a good, persuasive story or risk being sent back. Then, after asylum was secured, we had to relive that story again and again, to earn our place, to calm casual skeptics.” As to why and how some refugees are accepted and some are not Nayeri says: "Trust me, the Americans and the English, they like triumphant stories. They want to be a part of the stories. They want to find excellent people, luminaires, pluck them out of hell, knead them flawless. They want to congratulate themselves for something remarkable. Keep yourself undamaged.” Nayeri further points to the unproductive and harmful descriptions of refugees: "It is the language of disaster often used to describe incoming refugees—deluge or flood or swarm. These words are lies.” An eye opening book on the realities of life as a refugee and the challenges and expectations for those seeking and/or receiving asylum. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Well written. I have a much deeper understanding of the refugee experience than ever before and far more compassion. Thank you for this gift

Dina Nayeri is a gifted writer who has the unique capacity to stir your emotions and keep you turning her pages. Her attention to detail makes this work a joy to read and characters spring to life. This story is brilliantly crafted and provides a unique perspective that will open hearts and minds. I will be gifting it this holiday season!

While Dina Nayeri's book is well-written, I do take issue when some of her conclusions. Every refugee or legal immigrant must bear something in mind: they must remain grateful to the country that welcomes them in, and they must respect its traditions. The crimes and abuses perpetrated by the theocratic government in Iran are not the fault of the United States. Questions pertaining to how these mullahs took over the country ultimately reside with a large portion of the Iranian people. It is obvious that Dina Nayeri is not a fan of President Trump and his policies. But there are many Americans -- myself included -- who agree with him for building the wall around the Southern Border. The number priority of any U.S. president is to protect its own citizens. Moreover, Dina Nayeri's criticism of Western values and pinning the blame on its White citizens is unwise. The mere fact that most White Americans voted to elect an African American president to two terms in office demonstrates clearly that they do believe in Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream of judging others by their character and not by the color of their skin. Rather than assimilating into American society, Dina Nayeri wanted to change it. She has no right to do this. I guess she also reached the same conclusion, and this explains her decision to move to another country. Great decision!!!

This is such an important book for anyone who might volunteer to help, may come in contact with or wishes to learn more about refugees. I read it on my kindle and now plan to buy a hard copy. I am 81 and years ago ran a refugee resettlement program where I worked with many volunteers. This book could have given us useful insight into not only the hearts and minds of refugees but to the struggles they faced before coming to the U.S. It is a stark look at the suffering of refugees in camps around the world and a reminder to all of us of our many blessings. While the book concentrates mainly on Iranian Christians and those fleeing political persecution, it is a guide to the plight of all refugees. I highly recommend it!

I wanted to hear Dina’s story after reading Everything Sad is Untrue, her brother Daniel’s book. I am a Christian and his story was one of the best works I have read in my entire life. He described his sister as the smartest person he has ever met. The two writers are opposites in almost every way. Daniel is warm, funny, a great story teller, likable and lovable. Dina is guarded, calculating, complicated, and OCD but most sad to me is that she seems to have renounced her Christian faith as an adult. Comparing the two books would be like reading the gospel of John (Everything Sad…) and then reading Ecclesiastes (Ungrateful Refugee). Her story is actually great- the goal of her writing is honesty and she achieved it. But because she no longer loves the Lord you get the sense that all of her hard work is meaningless (“vanity, vanity, all is vanity”). Toward the end, Dina also seems to pin all her hopes on her young daughter which makes me sad. Her work telling the refugee stories changed my perspective for sure, but Daniel’s story was really a heart- and perspective-changing story. His gratitude to Jean and Jim and the Pringles they fed the kids is what makes me want to help refugees. Ungrateful may be how exactly how Dina feels but it is not what would inspire me to help others.

I have read both of Dina's works of fiction, "A Teaspoon of Earth and Sea" and "Refuge", and was so excited to read her first non-fiction work. The combination of her personal story and the stories of others resonated powerfully with me, and left a deep emotional impact. I am definitely recommending this book to friends and family and look forward to discussing the incredibly relevant themes and messages with them.

If you want the nuanced truth that most newcomers don't share with their new host country, this is the book for you. I have such respect for the author to document her unvarnished, often startling, truth. I learned a lot, including how I can interact more sensitively and respectfully with newcomers. Thank you.

It is a really nice book especially if someone is interested about the hardships, problems and discrimination the refugees face after coming to western countries. A least known but very important aspect of refugees lives were covered in the book

Not a book review but suffice it to say this story is remarkable. All the media hype about refugees and asylum seekers coming to Europe/UK cause dem to read this. yes, it is a single story but she goes where we can't and visits the camps on Lesbos etc. Heartbreaking. I highly recommend the book if you are willing to be challenged.

Assuming that this is a common response for refugees it opened my eyes to what they experience in a new country, If there is a take away , for me it was the lack of understanding by refugee's of how the citizen's of their new country feel about their arrival here.

This book it is a must read. Everyone who does not understand or critics refugees crises should read it. The only thing I did not enjoy that much is the last episode when I feel the author rambles on a bit about herself. The rest of it, when she tells her own and other refugees stories, the criticism from society that they face, the difficulties they go through to escape whatever threatens them in their countries, how their life is put on hold while they wait for asylum and the humiliation they go through during all the interview process... chapeau.