30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control In Personal Relationships

I was in a relationship. It ended in a horrible way with lying, adultery,and many other things. I stumbled across this , book or should I say God revealed the book and brought it to me. I was totally dumbfounded and devastated about what had happened. As I read the book, I felt as if the book was reading nearly my relationship story and relationship with this person. I was SHOCKED! It was so correct, so detailed. It was like a movie script memorized and played out exactly the same on page, as in my relationship. It took several years to recover from the experience. This book is worth thousands of dollars just to save, and protect your heart and soul from a relationship ever happening again with a narccissist. You may have been devastated going through it once, but never again. Use this book, and you will see dynamics in co-workers, family, potential relationship partners. I'm amazed the author was able to clearly identify all the characteristics for us so we may be on guard. I am not paranoid and looking over my shoulder or being suspicious of every person, but if many of these traits seem to be part of one individual, I exile them from my life ASAP! This book, besides my bible is probably of the highest value per page books I have ever purchased. Great Book! Simple, Clear, and Concise.

I immediately related to this book because my marriage was to a covert manipulator. I could agree with all of the listed tactics but a few. This book validates some of the abuse I experienced as a child, and the abuse I experienced in my marriage. I'm well educated, and fairly assertive and outspoken, yet I felt like I was to blame for anything going wrong in the marriage and with our parenting. I felt ignored, underappreciated, and taken advantage of while at the same time feeling the underlying message that I should feel lucky and appreciative of all that I have. It was an insidious process of seeing myself become chipped away, and broken down over the years. In the latter years, I felt like I was barely tolerated, and expressed this to him. I was told I was wrong, and it was all in my head, and I believed this. It was turned around onto me, and blamed on my abusive upbringing and my depression. My intuition kept telling me something wasn't right, but I couldnt put my finger on it. I just knew I was incredibly and inexplicably unhappy. I chose to leave after 23 years of feeling empty and unhappy for at least 15 years, and wondering why I always felt angry, depressed, and resentful while feeling I constantly agreed with him. I literally felt like I was losing a grip on reality. I lost my identity completely in the marriage. I left that marriage feeling mentally shattered, and not having any sense of self-worth or self-confidence. If you can relate at all to my brief marital history you can benefit from reading this book. It's an excellent, easy-to-read resource to assist on a path toward self-love and empowerment. Anyone one who suffered this abuse, or any abuse can benefit from this book. I highly recommend her other book " Boundaries After A Pathological Relationship", and her website psychopathsandlove.com

This book does a great job of breaking manipulation down. I found a few terms I have never heard of that I plan to google and there was a very accurate list of signs that you're being manipulated in your relationship. I found myself almost in tears. The only negative, and it's not too big of a negative, is that it was short and there were a lot of short descriptions and basic definitions to describe with a lack of examples. That in there are a few typos. Overall awesome basic book. Could have been made a long article instead. I enjoyed it and would recommend.

I identified with a lot of the manipulation tactics addressed in this book and I got a deep sense of validation from what I have endured and that it wasn’t my fault.

I chose this rating because, after a very scary incident in my life,(65 years), I realized there was something else that I needed to know and understand. I have read many of these books written by people who have been abused. I applaud them for having the courage to share the knowledge they gained. While in school I learned plenty of things that have never been of any use to me at all in navigating my life, or in helping me to understand what went wrong when things didn't work out right. This book helped me realize that entire families can happily be using manipulative tactics and centered on one individual, making that person's life a living hell. My husband and I both came from families like this, we were both the scapegoats. Our relationship is what pulled us through, but there is even a dark side to that. Like most people married for nearly thirty years, we have had our problems. Some of those problems had a little too familiar ring to them, even though it was the first time we had encountered them in our relationship. So we started researching and found this information. Now we ask WHY we're we not taught these dangers when we were young? Why weren't the many educated counselors we have seen over these years, aware of these factors, and if they were, WHY didn't they use that knowledge to help us to heal our wounds? Now, I am happy to say, that through the knowledge we have gained, and the work we are still doing, we are healing. We have set boundaries for our families and each other. We talk to each other, identify manipulative behaviors we may have used with each other and decide what alternatives we had. When we are trying to change an old behavior and one of us "slips" our partner has a chance to earn a "therapy fee" by bringing it to our attention. For us, this has worked great! We are closer and happier and healthier than we have ever been. We have not only strengthened our relationship with each other , but even our relationship with our Bible and God is stronger. Now instead of depending on counselors of man who have their own problems we go directly to our own studies to resolve our problems, it works!

There are a lot of books in my cart on this topic, breakups, relationship health, etc., and I should probably read them all. But when you’re in the throes of pain in the immediate aftermath of a breakup with someone like this, you need quick help just to get through the day. Maybe even the hour. This was an easy read but full of revelations and insights that somehow, when you recognize what your ex has been doing to you, and you give it a name, and you realize it’s so valid that there are books about it, well it makes you feel better. Gets you through that hour or that day. I highlighted the book in 3 colors. Yellow for information that generally applied to my ex. Blue for information that was spot on, word for word. And pink for information that was spot on, word for word, AND scary. Practically the entire book is highlighted. Out of the 30 tactics described, he had 27 of them. For the first time in 4 years since I met him, I don’t feel addicted to him or dependent on him. I see him as a very disturbed man who almost brought me down with him, and I just want him gone from my life.

Here is a concise listing with well written descriptions, of each method and tactic of emotional abusers. In my opinion everyone should read this book. Forewarned is forearmed. I was a victim of exactly this kind of abuse and it messed me up for years. I don't know if I would have steared clear of my abused if I had read this book prior to my encounter, because she and her family were so skillful at concealment and deception, as this book very well describes. But I think this book would have enabled me to connect the dots much sooner than I did, and it would also have given me, the validation I so desperately needed in the aftermath of their deliberately inflicted trauma. That validation is vital to recovering from emotional abuse such as this, because you find it nowhere else other than from others who have survived similar encounters. Even your closest friends and family members may not be equipped to understand you as a victim, much less give you the support you most critically need. This book makes an excellent companion book to my own book, A Prison of Lies - A Journey Through Madness, because it does such an excellent job of explaining what is happening to the main character, Tom, in A Prison of Lies. And where this book is a catalogue of abuser's tactics. A Prison of Lies, is a case study of one such scenario, illuminating the victim's vulnerability, and charting how the abuse unfolds, then charting the ordeal of the aftermath and the recovery. I would tell any ofmy readers if I could, to read this book first, to have a better understanding of my book, as they read it.

It's a crash course pamphlet on manipulation tactics and how abuse works, nothing more, nothing less. Definitely useful for someone who has a very limited amount of time, is in an emergency, or would just like something on hand and easy to flip through to remember these issues as they happen. I removed a star due to the fact that it makes the common mistake of over-attributing manipulation to personality disorders (not all character-disordered people necessarily have a diagnosable issue), and because it is hastily put together and results in some typos here and there. Other than that though, it's pretty solid for what it is. Like I said, it's equivalent to like a PSA pamphlet someone would hand you on the street, and when held to that standard, it's pretty good. Would recommend having on hand for ease of reference, but definitely don't stop here if you want to learn more about abuse, manipulation, and toxic psychology in depth.

Eccelente raccolta per chi sta in compagnia di personalita borderline o narcisi , tento che a un certo punto ti illumini ... ma .... aspetta ! forse stiamo uscendo con lo stesso uomo ?!

I will recommend to start reading the chapter that deals with intermitent reinforcement. I think it helps for a better comprehension of the entire subject.

I read this book in one seating and thoroughly felt engaged by it. As I read and learned about the different tactics, I felt more and more empowered. I gauged whether or not I myself was using tactics unconsciously and I gauged if any tactics were present in any other of my relationships. I think this should be required reading by every young adult especially when starting new relationships or entering marriage. Once you learn the manipulative tactics, you will be able to defend yourself against it. You will have clearer boundaries to protect yourself and will maintain your self worth. Plus you will know if you yourself are being manipulative or controlling in order to get what you want. This book is to the point, a short read, and worth every minute of your time for the sake of the quality of your life.

I felt like this book was a mirror of a destructive 4 year relationship I’ve recently come out of. The author clearly knows the manipulation game and understands the emotional and physical health damage caused by the manipulator. Without doubt, this is the most informative and helpful book I’ve read on the topics of manipulation and narcissism. I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone who feels they’ve been in a relationship that is manipulative, controlling, confusing and soul crushing. I shed many tears throughout the book, as it was all too familiar, however after finishing the book I no longer feel alone with what I’ve personally experienced. Healing will take however long it takes, but I’m so thankful I chose this book and absolutely recommended it!

Lacking in substance and poorly written, you wil find better help elsewhere. As the book is so short, it would, fortunately, not be a big waste of time, but a waste nonetheless and a total waste of your money.