---
product_id: 48903662
title: "The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved"
price: "5565 som"
currency: KGS
in_stock: true
reviews_count: 13
url: https://www.desertcart.kg/products/48903662-the-state-of-affairs-rethinking-infidelity-a-book-for-anyone
store_origin: KG
region: Kyrgyzstan
---

# The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved

**Price:** 5565 som
**Availability:** ✅ In Stock

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- **What is this?** The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved
- **How much does it cost?** 5565 som with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.kg](https://www.desertcart.kg/products/48903662-the-state-of-affairs-rethinking-infidelity-a-book-for-anyone)

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## Description

Buy The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved 1 by Perel, Esther (ISBN: 9781473673540) from desertcart's Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

Review: A state of relationships - This book written by a psychotherapist and counsellor who has worked with couples will be of interest to anyone interested in relationships. It is also well written with an good narrative flow. At the beginning of the book Esther Peel looks at the conventional wisdom on partnerships and marriages and fidelity in them. She points out that in Western society there are strong views that partners in these are expected to stay loyal to each other, with out straying elsewhere for intimacy and sex. She does not appear to have problems with this per se, but points out there are many divergences form this path. It is human nature to transgress boundaries, even if this is painful. What follows are a large number of accounts of cases she has encountered. This includes infidelity in conventional marriages, both homo- and hetro- sexual partnerships, open relationships (where issues of infidelity can crop up despite there being a permission to find additional partnerships) as well as ones that insist on monogamy. She looks also at issues of betrayal, the pain of discovery of an affair, how some affairs may save people from bad partnerships and also how that affairs may sometimes (paradoxically?) even save and strengthen relationships. Perel also looks at the various kind of people involved, apparently settled people, those who prefer to have affairs rather than stay in a single one. All in all the range of people discussed here is wide. Perel's aim is not to discredit monogamy, but to suggest what is needed is a little more space for people in their situations to work through. At one point in the narrative she ponders on the general state of knowledge around human sexuality. As she states it is limited. This book contributes to expanding that space a little more. An enlightening read.
Review: A must read - kind and insightful - Esther Perel’s voice regarding loving relationships is vital for our times. She speaks with the wisdom of someone who has a depth of understanding and kindness that few (if any) can match. This book affirmed many conclusions I had reached on my own about love and commitment over a very painful period. Esther’s writing is pertinent and very engaging. Had I read her book in advance, I might have had the armoury, the understanding and the confidence to ‘stray from the script’ and find happiness much sooner. Highly recommended reading.

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | 159,460 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) 2 in Psychology of Sexuality 36 in Marriage Relationships 47 in Marriage |
| Customer reviews | 4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars (5,430) |
| Dimensions  | 14.6 x 2.5 x 21.9 cm |
| Edition  | 1st |
| ISBN-10  | 1473673542 |
| ISBN-13  | 978-1473673540 |
| Item weight  | 356 g |
| Language  | English |
| Print length  | 336 pages |
| Publication date  | 12 Oct. 2017 |
| Publisher  | Yellow Kite |

## Images

![The State Of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity - a book for anyone who has ever loved - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71BfNybi7PL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A state of relationships
*by G***Y on 10 September 2018*

This book written by a psychotherapist and counsellor who has worked with couples will be of interest to anyone interested in relationships. It is also well written with an good narrative flow. At the beginning of the book Esther Peel looks at the conventional wisdom on partnerships and marriages and fidelity in them. She points out that in Western society there are strong views that partners in these are expected to stay loyal to each other, with out straying elsewhere for intimacy and sex. She does not appear to have problems with this per se, but points out there are many divergences form this path. It is human nature to transgress boundaries, even if this is painful. What follows are a large number of accounts of cases she has encountered. This includes infidelity in conventional marriages, both homo- and hetro- sexual partnerships, open relationships (where issues of infidelity can crop up despite there being a permission to find additional partnerships) as well as ones that insist on monogamy. She looks also at issues of betrayal, the pain of discovery of an affair, how some affairs may save people from bad partnerships and also how that affairs may sometimes (paradoxically?) even save and strengthen relationships. Perel also looks at the various kind of people involved, apparently settled people, those who prefer to have affairs rather than stay in a single one. All in all the range of people discussed here is wide. Perel's aim is not to discredit monogamy, but to suggest what is needed is a little more space for people in their situations to work through. At one point in the narrative she ponders on the general state of knowledge around human sexuality. As she states it is limited. This book contributes to expanding that space a little more. An enlightening read.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A must read - kind and insightful
*by J***T on 17 February 2018*

Esther Perel’s voice regarding loving relationships is vital for our times. She speaks with the wisdom of someone who has a depth of understanding and kindness that few (if any) can match. This book affirmed many conclusions I had reached on my own about love and commitment over a very painful period. Esther’s writing is pertinent and very engaging. Had I read her book in advance, I might have had the armoury, the understanding and the confidence to ‘stray from the script’ and find happiness much sooner. Highly recommended reading.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ A good guide to the modern marriage...
*by C***H on 19 April 2024*

An interesting book, full of wisdom and guidance about relationships and how marriages can go wrong. I don't feel like I gained a huge amount of new knowledge from reading this book, but a few things I picked up along the way certainly clarified my thinking - or supported what I had previously thought, but wasn't sure was the right way to look at a certain phenomenon.

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*Product available on Desertcart Kyrgyzstan*
*Store origin: KG*
*Last updated: 2026-02-25*