---
product_id: 449612119
title: "The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst"
price: "7903 som"
currency: KGS
in_stock: false
reviews_count: 8
url: https://www.desertcart.kg/products/449612119-the-betrayal-bind-how-to-heal-when-the-person-you
store_origin: KG
region: Kyrgyzstan
---

# The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst

**Price:** 7903 som
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- **What is this?** The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst
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## Description

The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst [Mays LPC CSAT-S, Michelle] on desertcart.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst

Review: Amazing resurce for those healing from an infidelity - This book was recommended to me, and I gladly recommend it to others. The author creates a framework to actually talk about the pain of infidelity. I didn't have these concepts or words even for my own thoughts. It is such a relief to receive explanations for the push-and-pull feelings infidelity causes. I do wish the author could write a book for those who did not have the choice to stay or go. This book is written on the premise that the betrayal was fairly recent and that the reader is choosing or has chosen to either work on the relationship or leave it. I am very grateful for the framework, terms, and concepts this book provides for working through the hurts and wounds. However, not everyone who experiences infidelity has that choice. Sometimes the betrayer leaves for an affair partner, and sometimes the betrayer denies regardless of proof, then uses the betrayed partner's emotional reaction to justify ending the marriage. Perhaps one day the author can write a book expanding the concepts to situations where the betrayed did not choose to stay or go, or receive closure of an acknowledgment. Perhaps that book could be more about healing from an old wound than a recent occurrence. It is an amazing book, and I am gaining a great deal from it. Not sure if I am fully the target market.
Review: You're not crazy - what you're feeling is normal! - This book does an amazing job at helping a betrayed spouse understand the chaotic and conflicting emotions swirling around them after the discovery of their spouse's betrayal, providing validation and comfort, and explaining why all of these feelings are absolutely normal and can be expected. Michelle Mays looks at betrayal through the lens of attachment, as our attachment system is the very thing that connects us with anyone in our lives, and how betrayal causes a break in the attachment bond to the person we're closest with, shattering trust, and leaving a betrayed partner feeling unsafe and violated. It's that break in the relational bond that leads to those emotions that can make a betrayed partner feel crazy: "I want to be comforted by the person I'm closest to. But the person I'm closest to is unsafe and I need to get away from them!" This is what Mays calls attachment ambivalence, and her explanation and normalization of this part of healing from betrayal is so thoughtfully explained and helps comfort the reader. Reading about the entire attachment process in our lives, and how our attachments can be disrupted with betrayal, throwing us into the cycle of ambivalence, made so much sense to me, and helped me feel like I wasn't crazy. The other part I found the most profound and helpful was her six phases of the Braving Hope process. Here she describes the six phases betrayed partners go through on the path to healing. Like anything else, it's not always linear for each person, but the descriptions and stated goals of each phase were distinct and I could identify my own timeline within many of those phases. (I'm definitely not at the last two phases yet myself.) I also appreciated that this book is written for both those who choose to stay and rebuild their relationship, as well as those who choose to leave and heal on their own. There's no pressure in the book to choose one way or the other, and support is provided for either path, as well as for those who are just choosing to not make a choice for now. Too often books on betrayal tend to focus on just rebuilding the relationship or starting over. Both are acceptable choices here, and the focus of this book is primarily focused on healing yourself, regardless of which choice you make, because whether you stay or go, you will still have to go through the grief and healing regardless. The Betrayal Bind provides a thoughtful analysis of the human attachment system and why betrayal hurts so much because of that system, and ends with a clear, detailed roadmap on the steps to move through the pain and trauma and find healing for yourself. My only suggestion would be to add a companion workbook for betrayed partners to use when working through the six phases.

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | #199,776 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #98 in Marriage #464 in Popular Psychology Counseling #817 in Interpersonal Relations (Books) |
| Customer Reviews | 4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars (555) |
| Dimensions  | 6 x 0.75 x 9 inches |
| ISBN-10  | 1949481778 |
| ISBN-13  | 978-1949481778 |
| Item Weight  | 2.31 pounds |
| Language  | English |
| Print length  | 368 pages |
| Publication date  | March 7, 2023 |
| Publisher  | Central Recovery Press |

## Images

![The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71gIAE9jJaL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Amazing resurce for those healing from an infidelity
*by A***S on January 19, 2025*

This book was recommended to me, and I gladly recommend it to others. The author creates a framework to actually talk about the pain of infidelity. I didn't have these concepts or words even for my own thoughts. It is such a relief to receive explanations for the push-and-pull feelings infidelity causes. I do wish the author could write a book for those who did not have the choice to stay or go. This book is written on the premise that the betrayal was fairly recent and that the reader is choosing or has chosen to either work on the relationship or leave it. I am very grateful for the framework, terms, and concepts this book provides for working through the hurts and wounds. However, not everyone who experiences infidelity has that choice. Sometimes the betrayer leaves for an affair partner, and sometimes the betrayer denies regardless of proof, then uses the betrayed partner's emotional reaction to justify ending the marriage. Perhaps one day the author can write a book expanding the concepts to situations where the betrayed did not choose to stay or go, or receive closure of an acknowledgment. Perhaps that book could be more about healing from an old wound than a recent occurrence. It is an amazing book, and I am gaining a great deal from it. Not sure if I am fully the target market.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ You're not crazy - what you're feeling is normal!
*by B***Y on March 9, 2023*

This book does an amazing job at helping a betrayed spouse understand the chaotic and conflicting emotions swirling around them after the discovery of their spouse's betrayal, providing validation and comfort, and explaining why all of these feelings are absolutely normal and can be expected. Michelle Mays looks at betrayal through the lens of attachment, as our attachment system is the very thing that connects us with anyone in our lives, and how betrayal causes a break in the attachment bond to the person we're closest with, shattering trust, and leaving a betrayed partner feeling unsafe and violated. It's that break in the relational bond that leads to those emotions that can make a betrayed partner feel crazy: "I want to be comforted by the person I'm closest to. But the person I'm closest to is unsafe and I need to get away from them!" This is what Mays calls attachment ambivalence, and her explanation and normalization of this part of healing from betrayal is so thoughtfully explained and helps comfort the reader. Reading about the entire attachment process in our lives, and how our attachments can be disrupted with betrayal, throwing us into the cycle of ambivalence, made so much sense to me, and helped me feel like I wasn't crazy. The other part I found the most profound and helpful was her six phases of the Braving Hope process. Here she describes the six phases betrayed partners go through on the path to healing. Like anything else, it's not always linear for each person, but the descriptions and stated goals of each phase were distinct and I could identify my own timeline within many of those phases. (I'm definitely not at the last two phases yet myself.) I also appreciated that this book is written for both those who choose to stay and rebuild their relationship, as well as those who choose to leave and heal on their own. There's no pressure in the book to choose one way or the other, and support is provided for either path, as well as for those who are just choosing to not make a choice for now. Too often books on betrayal tend to focus on just rebuilding the relationship or starting over. Both are acceptable choices here, and the focus of this book is primarily focused on healing yourself, regardless of which choice you make, because whether you stay or go, you will still have to go through the grief and healing regardless. The Betrayal Bind provides a thoughtful analysis of the human attachment system and why betrayal hurts so much because of that system, and ends with a clear, detailed roadmap on the steps to move through the pain and trauma and find healing for yourself. My only suggestion would be to add a companion workbook for betrayed partners to use when working through the six phases.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The path to hope and healing for betrayed partners
*by L***. on March 9, 2023*

With wisdom, understanding, and compassion, Michelle Mays has created the book every betrayed partner deserves to understand the impact of betrayal and unravel the complexities toward healing. Michelle’s insightful and revolutionary approach builds off the trauma model to explain, understand, and validate a betrayed partner’s experience through the lens of the attachment injuries caused by the betrayal. As a betrayed partner, I recognized so much of my experience in this book. "The Betrayal Bind" creates the vocabulary to understand and describe the overwhelming trauma symptoms and dysregulating reactions that had left me isolated and a shell of my former self. Betrayal blindness - yep, attached shame - yep, battling for empathy – yep, and more – yep, yep, and yep. By weaving in her own story, Michelle beautifully articulates the intense pain, anger, confusion, and longing caused by the betrayal, as well as the vulnerability, risk, and courage it takes to heal. Michelle’s attachment informed approach to healing outlines the six phases that move betrayed partners from despair and devastation to hope and flourishing. I am incredibly grateful for Michelle’s work which has transformed my own healing journey. I’m finally finding myself again - the bubbly, passionate, adventurous and happy woman who had faded so gradually over the last 8 years. I still have work to do to let that woman truly shine through again – but for the first time in a long time, I believe she’ll be making a full comeback, stronger and more vibrant than ever.

## Frequently Bought Together

- The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst
- The Aftermath of Betrayal
- Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal

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*Product available on Desertcart Kyrgyzstan*
*Store origin: KG*
*Last updated: 2026-02-18*